10 March 2007 Hey all.. i'm back from my 9hrs of sleep :) I did have a good rest & i'm more relaxed and calmed over yesterday's matters alr. In fact, Feli helped a lot. Just by crapping with her, and updating each other on our lives made me feel DAMN much better. I love you Feli. And i miss her too :(. Gonna visit the seniors of the choir soon (hopefully). And maybe some juniors. I can't stand ppl who don't respect their seniors. Grrr!
So anyway, as promised, here's the post about what happened yesterday. If you don't wanna read the rest, just close this window. And my tagboard is not a place for people with funny names such as 'hohoho' and other nonsense. If you have nothing better to say, keep those remarks to yourself. Like i mentioned last night, there were 3 sucky events. I'll narrow it down to 2. One that happened in the morning between me & my grandma, and the other one.. well, you'll see. From the moment i stepped into the toilet till the moment i left the house & out of her sight, she kept critizing me. Her words were harsh, cold, and filled with sarcasm & demoralizing statements. She loved picking on me since the day i could walk & talk (It all started due to some issue when i was 3 months old which i so will not elaborate). She loved comparing me with her 5 other grandchildren.. and on this very morning, she yelled at me and said, "i pray that you'll find a good job. or rather, maybe pray that you'll ever find a job." Other stuff came in, such as "your cousin can do so well, they listen to me, and you're not even a step behind". my cousin's in NUS, another in JC, my sister in trip sci... smart people. not like me, a 15pointer, someone who barely gets recognition for studies.. who doesn't really like the piano and only loves singing, sports and children. The question is.. Is 15 points that bad? Am i that rebellious? Do i really slack that much? Haha, i'm the only one that knows her habits & her favourites, and this is how i'm being treated. Try imagining a life with such scoldings EVERYDAY.. then you'll know how i feel. Bleagh, what a life. So after i left the house, i received a phone call. It was from him. He told me that his mum found out about us. He got scolding, caning, what not.. thanks to his sister. She betrayed him, and now we're in hot soup. His mother told him that he must not have anything to do with me anymore, if not i'll get it as well. She will even go to the extent of contacting my mother, if she sees us together again.. well, till he ends school. But i got a gut feeling that she'll extend this nonsense. She loves causing trouble, not only for him, but for every other person who sides with anyone but her. Seeing the cane marks on his hand hurt me deep down inside and i just broke down and cried in his arms. His hands were not the only part affected, but i shan't elaborate. Never in my life had someone got such a bad beating cause of me. Some of my close friends are telling me to stay away from him. Some are saying the opposite, as they know that he needs me. My heart tells me that i'll take every risk on my part just to be there for him.. and i hope that everything will turn out alright in the end. I really really love him.. and i know he feels the same :) Somehow, i'll try and pull through. The bad thing about yesterday was that the bad issues came one after another. The good times with KL (at SYFC) and Matt (i managed to visit him for awhile) really made me feel more at home. There were countless laughters with KL, as we walked a LONG way from the East Camp at Seletar Airbase till the west camp.. as we were lazy to wait for the bus. Long John with her at lunch was fabulous. If it wasn't for her, i doubt i'd be sane. She was there for me since i found out about that "mother knows" issue. Also wanna thank Sylvia & Keith for being there for me&him. Lending him their phones have already been good enough, if not i really don't know how we can contact each other. Its a hard phase i believe.. but the one thing i do know is.. with friends and loved ones and the power of God.. nothing is impossible :) If i had blogged this post last night.. i doubt it would have ended on such a hopeful note. Thank God i have my friends :) Thanks Jes, Feli & KL once again..and i love you* Labels: dailies KISS ME 10:16 |
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